More Items From The Jar :)

"You love my metaphors and my metaphysicals......hahaha...look what I just found on your bum!"

Leo: Cry me a river!

Andi: A River? You want one?

Leo: Yeah, I like skiing! .....What did I just saaaay?

A Conversation Between Jen and Andi back in 2005:

"It's a bitch duel!"

"Argh!"

"Arrg" [insert cat fight scene]

"HA!!"

Quote brought you but Mark:

"I have the same problem....If it's not on my lap I don't care about it!"

This is why I love Jen:

"lines? - 2 fucking lines? - yes? - ok - Titis?- Hearts? - Jay loves my tits? -Chris loves your tits?"

Outgoing answering machine message:

"Hi you've reached Andrea and Chris...Oh Shit! I was supposed to take that right!"

Another Jen Classic:

"Hold on, I'm carrying children on my ass..."

Kate Says:

"She's like a human hello kitty!"

"Look!....he's running over Jesus!" - Andi-

"I'm just dusting your balls!" - also Andi-

"Well....you're pouring juice on a leaky grape!" -Chris-

More Quotes...There are quite a few in the Jar :)

Andi to Chris:
"The computer is way to slow for me to get pissed off at you for having good weather!"

Chris: "Oh shit! My wing's broken. Let's all die!!"

The truth about Alex:

Q: "If you were stranded on a desert island with anyone who would it be?

Alex Responds: "The Hoff....David Hasselhof...so he could swim and I could just hold on for the ride."

"It's one a little piece of receipt, in my paper"

"I didn't know they were lips, they could have been eyeballs and....while we're on the subject, could you spare a penis?"

A voice mail message a friend left once this was the entire message:

"Hey hefer...you'd better not be having sex!!!"

2004

Brian: "You are subluxated...in the mind!"

Another classic from Annie:
"It's like a frown barfing!"

Kyle: "Look, there's not partying going on here.....but there's Santa Clause!"

A classic party conversation between John and Brian...

John: "Why are you such a stupid?"
Brian: "Why are you throwing up?"

Jay: Abortion

Jen: Abortion?

Jay: I don't know he's drawing a fucking cat!

A few quotes from the jar to get this blog started....

A Conversation between Chris and I yesterday:

Chris: "Oh, so ::poke, poke, poke:: means telepathy to follow?

Andi: "Yes! That is exactly what it means- always! You finally figured it out! It only took you six years!"

2/10

Now we know why Andi doesn't work on cars.....

Andi: "You can see that he's shifting, his brake lights keep coming on. Don't the brake lights come on when he's shifting?

Chris: "No"

Andi: "Then why do his brake lights keep coming on?"

Chris:" Because he's.....BRAKING....."

Andi(very sternly): "Oh...that's funny"

11/05

Chris attempts a knock, knock joke:

Chris: "knock, knock"

Andi: "Who's there?"

Chris: "Moooo"

Andi: "Mooo? Moo wh..... Chris: INTERRUPTING COW! Oh...I did it backwards"

This one comes from good old Leo:

"You know what you can do with a hotdog when you freeze it?"

A classic Andi Comment back in the day...

"I'm drunk enough to try it"

This one brought to you by my fabulous cousin Annie:

"The Grinch is a child molester, just so you know"

A Conversation Between Chris and Katie.....this one's deep:

Chris: "Oh have I got a story...."

Kate (interrupts): "I've got an eyelash!"

9/06

Don't remember who said theses ones:

"There's even a jellaru and a subaru bean."

"Ow, I bit my cheek, which is why I was going to use a spoon."

"It's like Christmas, there's candy canes and diet pills everywhere."

"So we're even, except for the money I owe you."

"We have watermelon and pickles....We can make a waaasalad"

"I ate a Christmas tree once. It wasn't good."

"Well, .... You're pouring juice on a leaky grape!!"

"Get out of my temporal lobe!"

What This Blog is About

So there is this jar that I started back in 2004 when I was living at my aunt's house. It's called the out of context jar. It's a collection of the random stupid things my friends and I have said over the years and tonight I decided to bring the jar into the 21st century. So the point of this blog is to hopefully make someone laugh. I will admit some of these things you had to be there for but they still crack me up. Enjoy!